英语语法：232 Show, Don’t Tell

By Mignon Fogarty

Today we’re going to learn about the old writing adage¹ “Show, don’t tell.”
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Brenda is a teacher in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and she asked me to help her students understand why they should try to show their readers images rather than just tell them facts. She says, “A problem shared by novice² writers is the inability to provide specific detail. LSD, [lacking specific detail] is an acronym³ made up by an English teacher friend of mine. Frequently students will have papers covered with the comment ‘LSD’ because their writing is general and vague.”
I confirmed with Brenda that what she is trying to convey to her students is the old writing adage “show, don’t tell.”
What Does “Show, Don’t Tell” Mean?
Good writing tends to draw an image in the reader’s mind instead of just telling the reader what to think or believe.
Here’s a sentence that tells:
Mr. Bobweave was a fat, ungrateful old man.
That gets the information across, but it’s boring. It simply tells the reader the basics about Mr. Bobweave.
Here’s a way to create an image of Mr. Bobweave in the reader’s mind:
Mr. Bobweave heaved himself out of the chair. As his feet spread under his apple-like frame and his arthritic⁴ knees popped and cracked in objection, he pounded the floor with his cane⁵ while cursing that dreadful girl who was late again with his coffee.
In the second example, I didn’t tell you Mr. Bobweave is fat. I showed it by writing that his feet spread and describing his apple-like frame. I didn’t tell you Mr. Bobweave is old. I showed it by mentioning his arthritic knees, his cane, and that he has a girl who tends to him. I didn’t tell you he is ungrateful, but with the impatience⁶ of a pounding cane and his disdain⁷ for his caregiver, I got you thinking that he may not be a very nice man.
Can You Ever “Tell, not Show”?
You may have noticed that it takes many more words to show rather than tell. A story that is filled with such detailed⁸ descriptions could become tiresome⁹, so just as you mix long sentences with short sentences to create variety and keep your readers interested, it’s often wise to mix sections that show with sections that tell to keep your story moving.
Use Metaphors¹⁰ and Similes¹² to Show Your Ideas
Most of the descriptions I used in the last example were literal, but metaphors and similes also provide an interesting way to create an image for the reader. For example, if you want to say someone is huge and slow, you could use a simile¹¹ about an elephant. You could say he saunters like an elephant, methodically forcing his path to a crowded watering hole.
If your protagonist¹³ is stealthy, you could use a simile about a falling leaf: She landed under the window like a leaf that had fallen from a tree.
Should You “Show, Don’t Tell” in Nonfiction?
The “show, don’t tell” rule applies most strongly to fiction. You’re telling a story, setting a scene, perhaps even creating a world. You want your readers to use their imagination and bring those characters and scenes to life, and that’s easier for them to do if you’ve started painting the picture.
Nonfiction is harder to pin down. Sometimes it will be appropriate to create an image for your readers, and other times stating the facts is the most effective way to make your point.
Narrative¹⁴ nonfiction is a work in which the writer tells a story, much like a novel, but it’s a true story. For example, the book Marley and Me isabout a man and his dog, and it’s a true story that reads like a novel. It was even made into a movie. In the same way you can make your fiction writing better by including little details that help the readers see the scene, you can also make a narrative nonfiction story better.
On the other hand, if you’re writing a technical document such as a scientific paper or user manual, it’s usually better to stick to the facts. There isn’t a lot of room for flourish when you just want people to push the red button on the front of the device or insert camlock D into hole A.
Of course there are middle grounds. Sometimes an essay, op-ed piece, or newsletter will benefit from creative writing and sometimes it won’t. You have to use your own judgement.
Show the Reader Your Imagination With Your Writing
If you find your writing feeling flat, particularly fiction or narrative nonfiction writing, step back and imagine your scene yourself. What sounds do you hear? What smells are in the air? What expression does your character have on his face? What are his motivations? Once you are deeper in your own imagination, see if you can make your writing better by adding a few specifics and transporting the readers to the scene you have in your mind.
 

1 adage   

n.格言，古训

参考例句：

• But the old adage that men grow into office has not proved true in my experience.但是，根据我的经验，人们所谓的工作岗位造就人材这句古话并不正确。
• Her experience lends credence to the adage " We live and learn!"她的经验印证了一句格言: 活到老，学到老！

2 novice   

adj.新手的，生手的

参考例句：

• As a novice writer,this is something I'm interested in.作为初涉写作的人，我对此很感兴趣。
• She realized that she was a novice.她知道自己初出茅庐。

3 acronym   

n.首字母简略词，简称

参考例句：

• That's a mouthful of an acronym for a very simple technology.对于一项非常简单的技术来说，这是一个很绕口的缩写词。
• TSDF is an acronym for Treatment, Storage and Disposal Facilities.TSDF是处理，储存和处置设施的一个缩写。

4 arthritic   

adj.关节炎的

参考例句：

• Somehow the geriatric Voyager 2, arthritic and partially deaf, managed to reach Neptune. 得了关节炎而且局部变聋、衰老的“旅行者2号”最后总算抵达海王星。 来自百科语句
• Femoral head ostectomy is a surgery performed on severely arthritic dogs. 股骨断截骨术’都是针对关节炎严重的狗狗的手术。 来自互联网

5 cane   

n.手杖，细长的茎，藤条；v.以杖击，以藤编制的

参考例句：

• This sugar cane is quite a sweet and juicy.这甘蔗既甜又多汁。
• English schoolmasters used to cane the boys as a punishment.英国小学老师过去常用教鞭打男学生作为惩罚。

6 impatience   

n.不耐烦，急躁

参考例句：

• He expressed impatience at the slow rate of progress.进展缓慢，他显得不耐烦。
• He gave a stamp of impatience.他不耐烦地跺脚。

7 disdain   

n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑

参考例句：

• Some people disdain labour.有些人轻视劳动。
• A great man should disdain flatterers.伟大的人物应鄙视献媚者。

8 detailed   

adj.详细的，详尽的，极注意细节的，完全的

参考例句：

• He had made a detailed study of the terrain.他对地形作了缜密的研究。
• A detailed list of our publications is available on request.我们的出版物有一份详细的目录备索。

9 tiresome   

adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的

参考例句：

• His doubts and hesitations were tiresome.他的疑惑和犹豫令人厌烦。
• He was tiresome in contending for the value of his own labors.他老为他自己劳动的价值而争强斗胜，令人生厌。

10 metaphors   

隐喻( metaphor的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• I can only represent it to you by metaphors. 我只能用隐喻来向你描述它。
• Thus, She's an angel and He's a lion in battle are metaphors. 因此她是天使，他是雄狮都是比喻说法。

11 simile   

n.直喻，明喻

参考例句：

• I believe this simile largely speaks the truth.我相信这种比拟在很大程度上道出了真实。
• It is a trite simile to compare her teeth to pearls.把她的牙齿比做珍珠是陈腐的比喻。

12 similes   

（使用like或as等词语的）明喻( simile的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Similes usually start with "like" or "as". 明喻通常以like或as开头。
• All similes and allegories concerning her began and ended with birds. 要比仿她，要模拟她，总得以鸟类始，还得以鸟类终。

13 protagonist   

n.(思想观念的)倡导者；主角，主人公

参考例句：

• The protagonist reforms in the end and avoids his proper punishment.戏剧主角最后改过自新并避免了他应受的惩罚。
• He is the model for the protagonist in the play.剧本中的主人公就是以他为模特儿创作的！

14 narrative   

n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的

参考例句：

• He was a writer of great narrative power.他是一位颇有记述能力的作家。
• Neither author was very strong on narrative.两个作者都不是很善于讲故事。